तू याद कभी कभी आता है....

जब से दूर गया है तू, तब से तनहा सा दिल मेरा तुझे ढूंढ़ता है
तू नहीं है आस पास जानता है दिल मेरा फिर भी तेरा अक्स देखना चाहता है
हज़ारो बातें करनी है तुझसे, बहोत से किस्से सुनाना दिल चाहता है मेरा
तू दूर है मेरी नज़रो से बहोत, पर तू याद कभी कभी आता है

तनहा रातों में अक्सर ये मेरा दिल सोचता है
सोने से पहले जैसे मैं तुझे याद करती हूँ क्या तुझे मेरा ख्याल आता है?
क्या तुझे आज भी कोई वैसे ही प्यार करता है जैसे एक वक्त मैं किया करती थी
तेरी यादों से बहोत दूर जा चुकी हूँ मैं, पर तू आज भी याद कभी कभी  आता है

जैसे मैं तेरे बालों को अपनी उँगलियों से सहलाती थी
तेरे गालों को अपने हथेली से यूँ ही छू लिया करती थी
तेरी बाँहों में लेटे-लेटे अपने दिल का हाल बयां कर देती थी, क्या कोई और आज तेरे साथ ये ही सब करता है?
देख प्यार नहीं करती मैं तुझसे अब, पर तू याद कभी कभी आता है

दूर जाने का फैसला तेरा था और कुछ न कहके भी इज़ाज़त तुझे मैंने इशारों में दे दी
तेरे दूर जाने वाले दिन की एक रात पहले तेरे कानों में मैंने कुछ कहा था
तूने शायद सुना नहीं था कुछ या सुनके अनसुना करने का नाटक रचाया था
हर दिन के ढलते ही खुद से रोज़ ये कहती हूँ, 'तू अब मेरा नहीं', शाम को ढलता देख तू याद कभी कभी आता है

Image credit - here

चलो आज ये वादा करते है

चलो आज ये वादा करते है 

तुम मुझसे कोई सवाल नहीं करोगे 

मैं तुम्हे कोई जवाब नहीं दूंगी 

आज फिर से अजनबी बनने का ये नाटक करते है 

चलो आज ये वादा  करते है 

तुम मुझे भूल जाओगे 

मैं तुम्हे कभी याद नहीं करुँगी 

आज फिर से बेदिल होने का स्वाँग करते है 

चलो आज ये वादा करते है 

तुम हो ही नहीं इस दुनिया मैं 

मैं गुम हो गयी हूँ किसी और जहाँ मैं 

आज फिर से लुका छुपी का खेल खेलते है 

चलो आज ये वादा करते है 

नहीं मुहब्बत तुम्हे मुझसे 

नहीं शिकवा मुझे कोई तुमसे 

आज फिर से एक दूसरे के वजूद पर शक करते है 

Image Credit- click here

Tomorrow has the all Answers..

We all fall into love and fall out of love, sometimes love isn't sufficient or sometimes sufficient love we did not get. 

Whatever the reasons are eventually we are humans and we all need a companionship. Some people come in our life as reasons and some as seasons. Life doesn't stop when reason ends or season goes, it goes on and on.... 

I remember when I  used to be a kid I used to discuss "TOMORROW" I used to tell my friends during last day of school that no matter what I will always stay in touch with them. Then time comes you realise that your priorities have changed, you have got new friends, new life etc. and the old ones no longer in touch with you. You accept this change gradually and people who are in your life succeed over who were in your life. This is what they call it  "MOVE ON". 

Then time comes in your life you become habitual of this breakup and patch up. Moving on becomes your daily routine and you reach to that stage of your life where it takes only few days for you to move on from someone because you become so sure that those who matter to you won't call you back. 

We all do mistakes and certainly I also have done many. We learn from our mistakes but what when committing mistake becomes your habit?? then surely you will be known as an ass hole. There is no harm to call yourself an ass hole because you are the one, because you believed after knowing the truth still you believe and you believe..... 

I have an ordinary story which teaches an ordinary lesson but this ordinary lesson is an extra ordinary chapter of someone's fictional life. 

"Once upon a time a man claimed that he loves her so much. They both were immensely into each other. He always used to say her that she can ask for anything and his heart or mind won't say "NO" to her and she used to smile and stay quite because she knew time gives the best answer. 

One fine day she asked him to give his own self to her, he said he is tied to someone else, he can not give his own self to her except that she can ask anything that she wants to have in her life.

On day one itself she knew that he won't be ever able to give her what can make her happy. For a moment she felt he may ask her to stay back in his life when he would see that she is going away from his life. She took a bold step thinking may be he would call her back last time but he took a bolder step and threw her away from his life forever"....

Do you know why he took this step? because it was the easier one. He choose a simpler and easier way because for being with her he was required to have courage and boldness. Sometimes just love is not sufficient, we may fall in love but it requires lots of courage and efforts to be with the person you claim that you love the most. Saying "I Love you" is easy but saying "I Want You and just You" requires courage.  

Lesson: don't believe what one says today wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow has the best answer and all the answers. 

Image Credit- click here

आज फिर खोली ये ब्लॉग्गिंग की दुकान मैंने

शायद दिल फिर से टुटा है, शायद कोई अपना आज फिर से छूटा है
बहुत दिनों बाद खोली ये ब्लॉग्गिंग की दुकान मैंने
शायद अनजाने ही सही, आज ये दिल फिर से टुटा है

अनजान मुहब्बत से मुहब्बत करके दिल मेरा ये फिर से रोया है
नाकाम मुहब्बत की कामयाबी का सपना आज फिर टुटा है
शायद अनजाने ही सही, आज ये दिल फिर से टुटा है

_____________________________________________________


शिकवा किस से करे, शिकायत किस से
गवाह भी वो, मुज़रिम भी वो और मुंसिफ भी वो 
चलो आज फिर सजा खुद को सुना देते है
एक बार और ही सही आज फिर हम इस कटघरे में खड़े हो जाते है

गलतियां कुछ मैंने की और कुछ उसने, शायद सफरनामा कुछ गलतियों का है
दोष किसे दे ये सवाल तो बस सबूतों का है
उसने वो देखा जो उसे सही लगा मैंने वो जो मुझे
मांझरा तो बस नज़र के धोके का है

________________________________________________________

मेहँदी के रंग जैसी थी तुम्हारी मुहब्बत, रंग लाल तो बहुत हुआ
चार दिन हुए थे रंग को निखरे, अब तो मेहँदी के ये बचे हुए छींटे भी हाथो को बदसूरत बना रहे है
चलो आ गया वो दिन भी अब छींटों पर भी बदसूरती का इलज़ाम नहीं लगा सकते
तेरी मुहब्बत की मेहँदी अब पूरी तरह उतर चुकी है

                                                          Image Credit

Love and social Media

“You hurt me always“, She complained once again.

He kept numb as always,

She had to leave him,

He had to forget her,

Yet, they talk to each other through WhatsAppp and Facebook settings-

Pretending as if they don't want to talk at all... 

A Last Wish

Picture Credit- here

It’s very beautiful when you fall in love.. And it’s even more beautiful when he isn’t in your life but still you love him, you miss him each day but do not expect from him to love you back.  Yet, you love him- intensely and more deeply and that is the beauty of love. You still do those things what you used to do when you were together with him but now it’s only you.

Lahar- a young girl who always had an imagination of his Sahil.. Well, who is Sahil?? Sahil was not just a name for Lahar. He was her life, her childhood love, her imagination and everything for her.

Almost a year ago Lahar met her childhood imaginary love “Sahil” they both fell in love instantly, immediately as if cupid had made some plans for them and that plan was nothing just to stay together forever like a fairy tale of a Disney world.

Lahar always had fear to fall in love because she used to think if she loves someone so deeply he might leave her and she will have to live alone for rest of her life. May be scars of past was deeply rooted into her heart and fear of commitment never allowed that girl to take a rest even for a jiffy.  

Oh god, at last that time came she fell in love; she met a guy of her Disney world. Everything was so beautiful just like a story of Cinderella. His promising eyes were sounding louder than his words. She believed that he is the only person who is not going to leave her ever. Life was as beautiful as a fairytales were.  

Sahil always used to tell her if you love me love completely, dissolve me into you. You in me, I in you. Exactly the way river dilutes her into a sea, the way Lahar meets Sahil and leaves her memories forever.

Well, they were not meant to stay together but still were together and see the farce of love Lahar is still together. She still loves him the way she used to when for the first time she had got familiar with the word of love, she still has the same wish to see him once again, she is still falling in love all over again and she will continue to love him even more with each day and time and she shall meet him yet again; that’s her last wish..... 

Love doesn’t hurt it gives you even more strength......  

Another Dead End

You met her,  

She was your crush,  

You started flirting with her, 

You fell in love with her, 

You proposed her, 

She also fell in love with you but scared of her mental illness,  

You were madly in love with her, 

She was deeply in love with you but still scared,  

She was your physical necessity but you were her emotional need,
  

Your commitments were not convincing to her, 

She wrongly misunderstood your commitments, 

You didn't try to clarify anything and left her without any conversation, 

She turned mad once again, and made few despicable mistakes, 

You came back after some days and asked her to be  with you once again,  

She couldn't forget the pain of aloofness and refused to be with you,  

She realised some of her mistakes and confessed her truth to you; asked you if still you can accept her, 

You couldn't tolerate her truth and left her again,  

She once again turned mad but this time she just wiped her tears and smiled to move on from your memories, she couldn't go away from you because you were residing in her soul... 

But unfortunately she didn't even exist in your memories,  

Picture Source

Another dead end of a love story......  

Unspoken Conversation

Unspoken words are lying in my old diary,
Feelings that had hidden emotions remained silent,
Stain of aloofness is still crimson,
Memories of past being too noisy to hear the sound of present

Love doesn’t hurt, though rejection does.
Life doesn’t stop, breath does,
Emotion doesn’t die; time passes away & fades the memories of past,
Memories die when the conscience remains unheard & silent in the noisy crowd.

Some unspoken conversation dies naturally but leaves their footprints in old diaries.       

Picture Credit- click  here.

मुहब्बत की कश्मकश कुछ ऐसी भी रही........

साहिल, 

उसकी आँखों का वो एक आंसू मुझे नींद न देने वाली कश्मकश में फंसा गया। 

नम आँखों के बीच उसका मुस्कुराता चेहरा न जाने कब अनकहा अनजाना सा एहसास दिला गया। 

यूँ तो ढूंढती थी जिसे में भीड़ भरी दुनिया में, वह चलते चलते मुझसे यूँ ही अचानक टकरा गया। 

कुछ न कह कर भी मुझे वो सबकुछ कह गया, नम आँखों का अफसाना वो यूँ ही बयां कर गया। 

रात भर जागकर ये सोचती रही कि उससे मुहब्बत करूँ या उसकी इबादत करूँ। 

उसके साथ आशियाना बनाऊं या अपने दिल में उसके नाम का आशियाना सजाऊँ। 

उसे दिल के पास रखूं या इस दिल को उसके नाम कर दूँ। 

तुम ही कहो साहिल कैसे अपने जज़्बात उसके सामने बयां करूँ ??

काश सुन पाता वो इन सांसो के नगमे को जिसमे उसके सुर समाते हैं। 

काश पढ़ पाता वो इन शब्दों को जो मुझे उसके और करीब जोड़ जाते है। 

काश समझ पाता वो अनकही आँखों का अफसाना जिसकी सरगम उसकी सांसो की धुन सुनाती है।

एक साहिल ही है उसका नाम, जिसका नाम लेकर साहिल की लहर मिट कर भी अमर हो जाती है...  

                                                                   तुम्हारी,    

                                                                          लहर  .......   

 

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She Fell for him.....

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Continuation- And then........ !!!

I feel you somewhere at some unknown part of me

Irresistible love attraction given by thee

Desire turned into a destiny that I couldn’t see

Love for him was just increasing day by day that only I could feel.

An ocean cannot be as deep as his eyes were

Spongy eyes with innocent voice were whispering secretly into my ears

Inklings of his heart were so loud that anything else I barely could hear

He took me above the welkin of love that had fairy wings of layer

My love hopes before him was lying as a drop of dew

I had a wish to see the drama of love through his heart’s view

I was squeezing my hopes that was little and few

Attraction of love can turn into a rejection I never knew.

He said “No” to my little heart

Black eyes cried pinkie cheeks smiled

A sweet peck of my rosy lips I depicted on his face

I still love you baby, whether you do or not it’s just a matter of my fate.

  

Best Father, unfaithful husband- A letter to father

Picture Credt

Beloved Papa,

First of all I would like to say thanks to you and mom as you both gave me birth. You and mom didn’t kill me when I was in mom’s womb. I know that I was your unwanted child as you already had decent family planning but I came in this world by mistake. After an attempt of abortion I still survived completely by god’s grace.

Papa, I really love you a lot and I would be loving you this much even after my marriage and I know that you also love me a lot. You always have taken proper care of me. You always have saved me from the hardship of this artificial and filthy world. I always wanted to be your son instead of your daughter so that I can live with you forever and I agree that you never discriminated with me on gender basis. You taught me several things that helped me to survive in this world.

Today, I am a proud woman only because of you as you gave me proper education; you taught me moral values and most importantly you always encouraged me to fight for my rights. I remember how you supported me when the entire society was against me when I took a decision to call off my engagement.

We always have shared an awesome bonding of father and daughter. I always wish to god to give everyone a father like you but I do not wish that god should give anyone a husband as you are.

You were/are amazing father but not amazing husband. Since my childhood I have seen those fights between you and mom and after each fight mom used to cry a lot. I know that you had past affairs too and I believe you still have. I always ask myself that why didn’t mom leave you even after knowing that you have extra marital-affairs?? May be an illiterate woman from a rigid Indian Community do not have that right to access in order to protect her own self respect.

I don’t want my future husband/partner to be like you. Actually I do not expect any honesty or loyalty from male society as you have sown that seed in me. I have seen your cold behaviour towards my mom and that behaviour of yours turned me so stone-hearted that today I do not believe in the concept of marriage.

I know you were/are with mom because you had/have to be with her in order to perform social rituals and rites towards this artificial society. But your broken marriage has always given me a tremendous pain inside and consequentially I started getting scared from marriage talks.

I am afraid of commitment. I always feel if you’re this trait comes within me; or if my future husband/partner would do what you have done to my mom. I know it would become painful for you as well to see my sufferings but I guess that would be the only possible way that could make you to feel my mom’s pain.

Somewhere I try my best to understand your situations but being a woman I am completely against of sharing my husband/partner with any other woman.

You always ask me that what sort of person I want in my life as my future husband/partner I always scream inside me that “definitely not like you”. Yet, I still love my father in the same proportion as I hate my mother’s husband but I understand my mother’s husband’s love life and somewhere it was one of the reasons I never have  interfered between you and mom.

I know relations are complicated and confusing but you have made them in this way and I run from commitments because I don’t want to repeat this history. I don’t want to be that victim which sounds like my mom.

I want to stay alone forever if not alone then probably with the person without any expectations and commitments because I am afraid of commitments in real life. 

Yours,

 Unwanted Child.

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Its completely an imaginary letter intended to tell the men society that how you treat your wife is going to be judged by your own daughter, so be nice with your wife.... avoid domestic violence. Some domestic violence can be something similar to what I have stated in this letter... and this violence remains unheard within the four corners of a room.    

I was Loving you not Using you.....!!

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We care for others point of view so much that sometimes we ignore our own thinking. Why does it happen? May be because we want to prove others that we aren’t wrong but have we ever thought why are we proving? Instead of having long discussions on WhatsApp groups or FB messenger why can’t we just let it go?? May be just because we want to show others that how good human beings we are!!

Life is so strange. Sometimes you fall in love and everything looks so beautiful. We give numerous perpetual future promises for some non existing events. And unexpectedly after few years you feel out of love and everything looks so stupid and consequentially people break their love relations and everything looks so ugly. Some people feel to commit suicide due to failure of love life that I always have found more worst than love failure.

Why can’t we be happy when we take/give breakups?? Can love be successful only when both the parties are involved? No, it is not necessary. We can be happy even after our breakups. Break up is nothing just a process that slowly removes the layer of blindness from your eyes.

And in this journey of breakups and patch-ups we become the time pass conversation for some other third person. Why can’t we follow the policy of confidentiality even after our breakups??

We misinterpret everything in our life. Likeness looks love, love looks likeness and this is how life turns into a mess. We always misinterpret love. Love isn’t about giving pain to your partner; love isn’t about giving inferior feelings to your partner; love isn’t about being rude to your partner; Love isn’t about hating when you are no more together.

Love was never boastful and it cannot be as it has believed only in giving. It is sad to see some people use the words like “he/she used me” and sometimes they hate that person because he/she left them. If your love dies when that person leaves you then sorry it wasn’t love only. I do not mean to say that go for one sided love but I mean to say instead of showing hatred, anger and using rustic words about your partner why can’t you just accept it the way you had accepted them when they used to love you??.  

When both the partners love equally indeed it is the best feeling in the world that cannot be defined by anyone. Love is true when you love someone with the flow of river and losses your identity completely by diluting yourself into an ocean of love.

Does love happen once?? Well, it is always difficult to answer. I never believed in the concept of number of love as I don’t think that love happens once, twice or thrice I just believe that love happens and it can happen at any point of time.

And you should admire your love when you are still together when everyone opposed you for being together but still you stood for your love without caring for society at large and number of friends at small. Admiration gives nothing substantial but fills you with emotional strength. 

When you are in love you actually devote into each other emotionally, physically and spiritually instead of using each other. 

Respect your partner’s decision even when their decision is against your love. It’s easy to fall in love but it’s difficult to love them when they don’t love you anymore. Marriage is not a permanent solution for making your partner completely yours forever.

Sometimes love can happen at the worst situation. Nothing is wrong or right when you are in love it just happens without any reason. If there is any reason to love someone then surely it’s not love. Love is like water- pure, pious and in the end of your day it gives you contentment.    

“Love cannot be jealous, love cannot be boastful, it cannot be selfish, and it cannot be rude- A Walk to Remember”.  

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Love At Third Sight....

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Heart is sounding deep inside

Pleasant morning shining bright

Thoughts are dancing in the dark night

Probably it is the sign of love at third sight

Why welkin looks so crimson??

A stranger I found so known

Single jiffy my glance only at phone

These strange feelings for me are so unknown

I saw him, I met him, and I spoke to him

In first instance feeling of love at first sight were so dim

Aloofness from him converted into a sin

Yes, love at third side happened to me with him....

To be continued........ (here)

Marriage- How it impacts Love-Relationships...

 

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"Rahul, I do Love you, it’s just that I don't want to get married now. I am just 24 and I want to explore my life, that's it." 

I never wanted to be so rude with him but he was not ready to understand my single point and broke all his relations with me.

I remember when I met him for the first time 6 years ago in my law college; it was indeed a best moment of my life. We both were so happy but this marriage part always used to upset me as I needed some time before to get married. I was not that type of girl who could handle typical Indian traditional families and I knew that I cannot act like best Bahu, Bhabhi etc. 

It’s been 2 years we haven't spoke to each other but I really didn't break up with him it was all circumstances which compelled me to get separated from him. Yes, I do love him, I really cannot forget him. He was my first kiss, my first love and my first sex. 

His soul gave a very essential fragrance and impact to my character which helped me to glow even more as a better person.

I know that the word "Sex" creates so much excitement in everyone's mind but it's just an amazing incident which makes relationship even more beautiful and fills life with flowery fragrance of love. He was my life and I guess still he is and being one of the reason which didn't ever allow me to get involve with anyone in love sense.

He still lives in my memories and still I cherish those moments which I had spent with him.  

I remember that time which helped us to come closer and it was---------

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"It was Saturday and he called me up--------

"Let’s meet up today will go for a movie, what say??"

"Yeah sure"...

12 o" clock noon we met at Inox theatre in Mumbai and after watching Two-states movie we rushed ahead to our respective destinations.

I remember that day when he was hesitating to ask me for something but I couldn't figure it out; after a jiffy he said-

"Will you mind to stay at my flat?? As we can spend some good time together"

I was not so shocked at all because I had lot of male friends with whom I used to hang out in group and without even giving a second thought I nodded in affirmative way as I was already excited to see my beloved's personal stuff.

We reached at his flat and then I saw such a horror part of his flat which one can see when few guys live all alone in PG.

It was the dirtiest place which I had ever seen in my life. We had lots of formal talk, we were dating each other too but we never had any romantic sort of moments during initial period of our relationship as we both were two different persons our choices and likeness were totally opposite to each other.

After seeing his smelly flat; I was really not willing to stay there for a second also but just for the sake of his happiness I barely managed to stay and that decision of mine changed my life. I had sex for the first time and from that day onwards our life also changed and relationship too.

We became so crazy for each other which I never expected that a girl like me can do so. Indeed it was a best part of my life and my relationship grew even stronger after having that amazing moment together with my lover.  

But as usual it turns mandatory after a period of time to decide about marriage and I was not that sort of person who would prefer to get married so early.

And that decision impacted my love- story too.

He proposed me for marriage for which I was not ready atleast for few years and that gave forever impact to my life and today I am 35 still sweet single and madly in love with him".

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But I still love him because for me marriage doesn’t impact relationship and in India for almost 80% population marriage impacts so much that they break their relationships too if their partner seeks some time to get cozy with the concept of marriage. 

For me marriage does not play as essential role as my feelings. Marriage is just an institution which validate the physical intimation of couples. Indeed its important but it should not come at the cost of your partner's happiness.

One question always run in my mind that “When you love someone so truly then how come such a small & tiny issue becomes so relevant that you become least bother for your relationship over man-made regulations which is known as marriage??

 

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This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.

It still impacts me.....

This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.

One thing always hurts me and compels me to think about the reasons why god has created this world for us? What hurts more?? Love? Or its rejection or cold behaviour of your loved ones??

Life has always been cruel  to Vrinda and sometimes the most innocent child but in all these life's emotional trauma if something really impacted her mind then I would say its “Emotions” which impacted and created a substantial effect on her soul forever.

We make thousands of promises for future events which do not even exist while making such promises; but when gradually that time comes we realise how stupid we were!! We made several promises but life wanted something else from us.

This below mentioned emotional poem is a silent part of some untold emotions of a matured Vrinda who realised the main cause of her mental trauma but decided to be nice with the cruel life. This is how life goes on and keeps on moving with the flow.

 

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Was it really true?

I was standing near the crowded Mumbai beach,

My painful voice of heart was screaming shouting to call you back but to your egoistic heart it couldn't reach,

I stabbed inside my heart to take out my feelings for you,

My dreams were lying on the dying dew.

Were you really in love with me or were love lying only in me??

Emotional trauma of my heart why only you couldn't see??

Was it a love story of “I" and "you” or were there of us together "we"??

Were you actually working for us or just trying to be busy bee.

Thought of murder of our love story gives me a tremendous pain

I managed to walk miles to meet you in heavy rain.

You called my efforts and love as only a stain

Now I have shifted you from my heart to brain.

Was this so called feelings just a temporary love flue?

Or you actually had intention to stick with me like glue??

We plan so much for our future which does not even exist when we are together.

What is bad about Mumbai??

Actually it’s a great city to live if you want to stay in India. But the worst part of it is that your tears will get melt in heavy rain and your painful voice will remain unheard due to crowded voice of its population.

Love happens, gives immense happiness to everyone but it comes with the cost which is really expensive and for the whole life you will keep on compensating with your tears.

Love doesn’t hurt but if it happens to wrong person then it gives durable dark spots on your heart.  

What remains in your hand  after loving someone truly and relentlessly??

“ Just a thought of love and to be loved by someone special whom you had loved once and forever”

Yes, your memories and love still impacts me!!!